The Joust by Herschel Sternlieb
It was tournament day in the land of the Golden Parachute and the newly crowned King Bushy Tushy, as custom decreed, was to appear in the lists against his mortal foe the Lord of the Democratic Senate.
Bushy Tushy, although he talked confidently was at heart a peaceful fellow and above all was loath to bruising his royal person. He was panicked by pain and so tried in every way to remove his name from the lists, but Chancellor Cheney would have none of it.
"What's your problem, King? You afraid of a little booboo?"
"I can't stand violence and the shedding of blood,"sniveled Bushy Tushy. "I will not put the royal person in harm's way."
"Are you worried about jousting with the Lord of the Democratic Senate?"
"Yes, for he says nasty and demeaning things about me, and I fear he will give me a frightful cuffing."
"Have you not read your history?" laughed Cheney. "The Lord of the Democratic Senate always jousts with one hand tied behind his back.. He's as harmless as a day old babe."
"I didn't know that. And why would he do such a thing?"
" Because he does not want to win, but only to give the appearance of putting up a good fight."
"But why doesn't he want to win?"
"Because the Sultans of Finance tell him to lose."
"You mean the same ones who want me to win?"
"Most assuredly. And you will win. And you will continue to win so long as you do their bidding."
"But I am the King. Others do my bidding. I don't do theirs."
"Not in this case. When it comes to the Sultans of Finance, you must do as they direct."
"And if I don't?".
"You will be deposed.".
"Deposed?" Bushy began to tremble. "Daddy told me this would be a snap job. He never told me I could be replaced."
"In a flash."
"Then you're telling me that I must fight?" quivered Bushy Tushy as he turned white and broke out in a cold sweat.
"Yes."
"But my foe will have one arm tied behind his back?".
"Guaranteed," Cheney reassured him. . "And to insure your victory, I have it from unimpeachable sources that the Lord of the Democratic Senate will joust with a balsa wood javelin." The color returned to Bushy Tushy's face, but he still felt a little queasy. "I'd feel safer if the javelin were made out of silly putty.".
"I'll see what I can do."
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