Bushy Tushy Goes to War by Herschel Sternlieb
King Bushy Tushy was lounging on his throne, losing at checkers to his poodle when Chancellor Cheney rushed in.
"Marvelous news, Your Majesty, we have just been attacked."
"By whom?"
"Don 't know,"
"So what 's so wonderful about being attacked?"
"The people will unite around you. You will be a hero."
"Goody! But how can I stay a hero?"
"By making tough decisions."
"Like what?"
"Like what to do with the people who attacked us."
"That 's easy. Let 's find the bastards and slaughter them."
"Wonderful policy decision, Your Majesty. You are brilliant! Simply brilliant! It shows your amazing gift for leadership. And I can assure you, we will leave no stone unturned in destroying them." "So what do I do now?".
"You just have to keep on making brilliant policy decisions. "
"Like what?"
"Declaring war."
"Goody. It 's done. I declare war."
"Brilliant. Such fabulous resolve and decisiveness. You were made for this job. Now, with the nation united behind us, we can do the work which the All Mighty has ordained for us."
"Like what?"
"We will seek out the perpetrators of this horrendous deed and you will lead us to victory no matter how much blood is spilt.".
"You mean I will have to get on my trusty steed with lance in hand and go into combat.?"
Tushy began to shudder. "You know I can 't stand the sight of blood. There must be something else I can do?"
Lord Cheney assured him that no harm would ever come to his royal person, that all he need do is stand silently over coffins or sit pensively at funerals, give a short uplifting speech every week or so, shake hands with all the knights about to do battle and ride around the streets in his golden carriage.
"Ride in my golden carriage?" questioned Bushy Tushy. "I won 't do it. Every time I do, the people scream terrible things at me like coward, idiot, thief."
"Things have changed.. Trust me," said Lord Cheney. " Let 's give it a try. If the people are restive we will stop and return to the palace."
So King Bushy Tushy and Lord Cheney got in the carriage and proceeded to drive through the streets, but instead of the usual catcalls, they were greeted by flag waving people cheering him and raising their voices in tribute to his amazing leadership, and kissing the side of his carriage. Bushy Tushy was elated.
"You can now do anything you want," said Cheney.
Bushy Tushy thought for a few moments. "You know I am the education king. Now that the people love me, do you think I could stop visiting first grade classes and try a 6th grade class?"
"Well, that might be a bit much," warned Lord Cheney. "Let 's start with the 4th grade and see where that leads us. Meanwhile, you relax and look regal, keep making those brilliant policy decisions and let me and my knights attend to the fighting."
|
