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A Wall Street Solution

by Herschel Sternlieb

(From Fairy tales for a Second Childhood)

Wall Street was in a panic as capitalism, having gone through its periodic boom cycle, was experiencing its inevitable catastrophic bust. The stock market was crashing and on the floor of the exchange, brokers were shouting sell orders to non-existent buyers. Everyone was in a state of extreme agitation and terror except for one old hand who was propped up against a far pillar, cleaning his finger nails.

"How can you be so calm during such a tragic debacle?" screamed an angry colleague.

"I know how the system works," he replied, "and I am calm because I have covered my ass."

"How, may I ask?"

"Certainly. This morning, just as the panic commenced, I cashed in all my blue chip stocks and bought a body bag factory."