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To My Daughter

By T.J. Sevigny

Introducing a father's musings on the birth of his and his wife Jennifer's first child:

Tom Sevigny, having been re-elected as Co-Chair by the United States Green Party at last summer's Green Party Convention in Santa Barbara,California, closed the convention by reading a letter/essay he wrote at the birth of Abigail Emily Sevigny on May 21, 1996. I think it's a fitting read for us as we move into a brand new year.

John Rensenbrink

Welcome to the world Abigail Emily Sevigny. You were born on May 21, 1996, a lovely spring day with plenty of sun and plenty of blooming flowers. Your grand entrance onto the world stage caused your mothermuch pain and many tears, something she may remind you of whenyou cause her anger in the future, but the tears of joy she shed when she first held you will always prevail in the end. This is your firstlesson in life: Love conquers all.

I myself also shed tears of joy upon your arrival, but I must be honest with you, I had many doubts about your impending arrival. At one timeor another over those nine months of waiting, I probably thought of every classic reason for not having a child. First and foremost was the financial responsibility of this undertaking. Can we really afford to have a child? I mean, have you seen the cost of baby clothes lately? And what about the future? Will I have the money for your braces? And what about the $50,000 a year I will need to pay for your college tuition? Then there is the loss of freedom aspect--no longer will I beable to simply go where I want to go when I want to go. Would I lose friends who have no children? Would your mother and I simply stay home, too exhausted to lift the diaper bag into the car, and slowly turn intoour parents? Speaking of my parents, one of the biggest fears I had is what kind of parent I would be. Would you turn thirty and be telling your therapist that you were emotionally scarred when you were five because I yelled at you for pulling the cat's tail? Or would you be writing a book about me called "Daddy Dearest"? Just so many unansweredquestions and no guarantees.

Overall, I guess I just didn't feel ready to be a father. I was waiting for some type of lightning bolt to come down from the sky and tell me I was ready for parenthood, when I should have realized that no one is really ever ready for such a major obligation. Life is full oftwists and turns, celebrations and tribulations, triumph and tragedy--just jump in with both feet and do the best you can. That is lesson number two.

I guess your third and final lesson is to make this world a little better place while you are here. This will seem impossible at times,especially since your generation will be inheriting a pretty screwed up planet from my generation. As you come of age and begin to realize this, I fear the questions you will ask me when you start to search for answers. I can see your face inquisitively looking up at me now as I stumble for an explanation. How do I explain children living in poverty in the richest nation in the world? How do I explain environmental devastation? How do I explain the hatred that possesses the souls of so many human beings? How do I explain oppression, genocide, and war? How do I explain homelessness, starvation, and domestic violence? Before your birth I often wondered why anybody would want to bring a child into this often brutal place we call earth. Generation after generation has had its moment in history to right the wrongs of previous generations, only to miserably fail in their attempt to abrogate themselves from the sins of their forefathers. Why would I think your generation will be any different.

One look at your face, however, and I immediately understood why people have continued to have children despite all the suffering in the world; for contained in your face was all the innocence in the world, and with that innocence all the hope for a better future. God knows that innocence will disappear soon enough, but maybe, just maybe, you can hang onto enough of it to make some kind of difference. I wish you luck on your journey and I promise I will be with you for as many steps as I possibly can, but for now you need not worry about such things. We will continue to just rock back and forth and watch the sun come up and dreamabout a better tomorrow.